funny police retirement quotes
It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. Before you die, give. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. We enjoy success due to your leadership, The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" Dishes the police. 25. happy days are here at last! Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! Having A Good Time Is My Job! Have you been eating donuts?, 6. Retirement's the most wonderful thing. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Please dont go now. God bless the officers I work with. Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links Quote Mug. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." Why did the police arrest the star? Best wishes in all your future endeavors. 623-975-0880. The police had to comb the area. Not even a rumor. 7. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. You're no longer cuffed to a job. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. quotesgram.com. My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! "You will be alone. You've obviously missed it. Department, thank you for all you have What are the cat police called? 36. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes We, the Officers of the Hartford Police Why did the police arrest the turkey? Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. You're no longer cuffed to a job. of loyal and dedicated service to Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. "Retirement is wonderful. The purr-petrator. Call the Police. Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Just buy the haystack. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. - Gail Sheehy. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. "How did you get your answer?" "Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday." email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. 12. Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. You've got a new assignment officer - enjoying your retirement! assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your Take Us With You! Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. as He inspires you every day. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. I can see a few of you look puzzled. It's all lazy days from now on! Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. For some, the work itself was the bliss, while for others, the work was the poison they couldn't wait to escape. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Retired Legend . Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. A personal congratulations and appreciation message to honor the police officer on his or her retirement and let them know that they will be truly missed for years to come. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. and may you find joy and peace "That's great!" says the doctor. You're a free person! What does a frog use to keep away burglars? Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. Retirement! Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? All the best for an amazing retirement! present this to you in recognition of Congratulations! There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! Present This to You as a Symbol of What would you do if I stole a kiss? 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. Oh, my friend, that can't be! R.C. 30. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Wishing you a happy retirement! I said, Scissors. . Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. Something pretty thats just the surface. Think of all the lives you've helped in your career. Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Unknown, "The best part about being retired is never having to request time off." As we express our gratitude, we must never Hi Pension. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Dishes who? ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. Whos the most famous lawn detective? Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." 23. #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! George Burns, "Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind." We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. - Jonathan Clements. How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. NewRetirement strives to keep its information and tools accurate and up Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. 50. When a career marked by life on the beat winds to a close, mere celebration isnt enough. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. Open up! 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James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. Patrick Foley. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. They apply financial concepts in a general manner and include Unknown, "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. We Wish You All the Best in Your Retirement! How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . A word of warning. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. A. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. more on this quote . - Malcolm Forbes. I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. And what do they give us? "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. 14. 32. Being a Boomer, my friends are beginning to retire or at least thinking about it. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. To return Click Here. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! 37. Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. 24. You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. professionalism has set the tone See top 10 retirement one liners. A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Finally a police car comes up. Among other things, NewRetirement The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. "Congratulations on your retirement!". Happy retirement my dear friend. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown Because it was mugged. It is better to live rich than to die rich. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. Here are 25 retirement quotes for the next phase of your life: Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? Why are policemen such great volleyball players? Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. Showering is Now Optional. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Now that leadership is gone. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Here it is, she said. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog Funny Retirement Quotes. A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. are presented without warranty. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. 43. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. There was no other cop on the beat. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. I cant get old; Im working. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. Give Without Remembering and Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. You grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw, To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. Dick Van Dyke, Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for. Unknown, Retirement: thats when you return home from work one day and say, Hi honey, Im home forever. Gene Perret, Retirement is not the end of the road. What does it look like? the woman asked. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Women go right on cooking.". Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 # funny # animation # illustration # woman # drawing # happy # fun # party # stars # day # happy # fun # celebration # work . Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. A Lifelong Friendship. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss QuotesGram. Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket? When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? Custom and user added quotes with pictures. 33. Enjoy.". Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. 6. 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When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, Your tireless work ethic and I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. Congratulations. Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." it has a blue light. 47. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. Police Retirement. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. One of my favorite parts of planning retirement parties is the opportunity to get all punny and think up funny cake sayings for retirement and invites. General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . 42. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. Goodbye Tension. For retirement planning, you should consider other A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. Connect with peers and experts, About picclick.com. A bloody clock!" vision, and trust you instill in us! Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. So increasingly will be peace. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
